Glimpse of the Past
by Dawn of Chaos
Summary: Zexion tries not to dwell on what used to be or how things happened. But these little blips of something that follow him prior to his demise are set the dominos up to fall. And the one that pushed them over? Well, Zexion might be glad he doesn't have to see him after this... after he realizes that there's no love here.


Being a nobody, he's told that memories are all he has left. That he's to grasp onto them and use them to his advantage – to manipulate those that still have a 'heart'. The only problem is that there's one person that knows how to tug at his strings and come out unscathed each and every time. Around the Superior is the only time when he finds himself dwelling in moments where his life as a somebody leaves little to be desired.

"Zexion," the deep monotone voice calls out.

It's a beckon which Zexion heeds quickly. He moves further into the room, closer to the open balcony where the much taller man is waiting. Zexion idles just at the threshold and stares at the back that won't turn. He'll admit he does spend far more time looking at the Superior's broad shoulders than his face.

But no one ever wants to have to gaze into those piercing amber eyes. It's as though they see right through whoever is before him. As if he can know everything just with a glance and which buttons to press. To be honest, Zexion wouldn't doubt it either. Even so he's never happy until Xemnas is turning and walking toward him.

Zexion remains perfectly still. "Xigbar said there was something you wanted to discuss with me."

Xemnas stops just before him. Not another word is said, not when Xemnas can merely place a hand on Zexion's shoulder and get his intent across. Their meetings are never complicated and there's usually nothing that is _ever_ talked about. At least not in the ways that everyone else thinks. The only talking they ever do is with their bodies. Saïx is the one that gives out the missions after all.

Of course Zexion still has his own duties and missions. The only difference is his truly important jobs are slipping off to see the Superior every day – sometimes multiple times a day. If he ever dared he'd ask what Xemnas even _does_ other than go see an "old friend". He certainly won't admit he's more jealous than curious either.

After all, he's done everything he could for this man well before they were Nobodies. All the way back when he was just a boy seeking for something more when he was left all alone.

Xemnas cups at the side of Zexion's face, urging the shorter man to tilt his head back. A gloved thumb rubs over his slightly parted lips in such a teasing sense that Zexion can't help but lightly clasp his lips onto it. It's such a small action that most wouldn't pay any attention to it. Especially since Zexion lets it go in the following second.

This little bit of spontaneity is always something that has a glint flashing through Xemnas's golden eyes. That gaze settles onto Zexion and never dares leave. There's never truly any emotion whatsoever that comes from Xemnas and yet there's these little spurts of _something_ that manages to slip out now and then. Moments just like these.

The tiniest of smiles quirks at the corners of Xemnas' lips. It has Zexion unable to tear his eyes away from the sharp angles or the brief show of teeth that flash when he begins to speak.

"I didn't wish to speak with you about something like _this_."

"Ah… I'm very sorry then." Zexion says this but he doesn't dare pull away. He makes sure that Xemnas is the one that disengages first. Yet no such thing happens. "What is it you wanted to speak with me about?"

Xemnas's hands move to settle on Zexion's shoulders before slowly sliding downward until they rest on his waist instead. He pulls Zexion close until the latter has to brace his hands against Xemnas's chest. Of course he doesn't particularly mind it either.

"Only you can I trust to go back and make sure the computer can't be accessed."

He doesn't dare say it. Say that Xemnas goes back there all the time, why can't he just be the one to do it. Oh no. He wouldn't dare go that far.

"Is there someone trying to gain access to it?"

One hand comes up to the back of Zexion's head. Fingers comb up through the shorter tresses and guide Zexion to tilt his head back. Xemnas says nothing as he leans down. Closing the distance between them is far simpler than the kiss that Xemnas bestows upon Zexion.

Zexion tightens his fingers into the front of Xemnas' coat. He can only hold on for dear life as those soft lips seemingly overcome his own. A warm tongue flicks over them and Zexion is quick to allow it entrance. The desire that fills his body is something that he can barely contain.

Pushing back up into the kiss, Zexion presses his tongue against Xemnas'. He wants more and more — but knows very well that if he clings to those luscious lips much longer he won't be able to breathe.

"Superior."

The deep tone has Xemnas pulling away swiftly. As if whatever spell Xemnas was under is broken oh so easily. "Has something happened, Saïx?"

"I have the intel you asked for."

"Very well," replies Xemnas as he strokes his fingers through Zexion's hair. "I will be there shortly."

"Understood."

Xemnas brushes the bangs from the side of Zexion's face they cover and gazes down into those bright sapphire eyes. "When you return, come to me immediately."

=0=0=0=

Having to go back to his home is hard enough as it is. All of the emotions and memories that it digs up are impossible to ignore. Even though he doesn't have a heart, supposedly, his chest still remains tight and aches far after he's left. Completing the mission was far easier than what any of the others had to do. At least in the sense where all he had to do was make sure no one can easily dig into the information that's held inside of the large computer.

Regardless he's just glad to finally be back at the World that Never Was. It's far nicer with how empty feeling it is. Just like a Nobody in general. He needlessly desires to return to Xemnas as quickly as possible. But the man isn't even around when he returns.

Asking anyone where he might be would only lead to more trouble than it's worth. Which is exactly why he goes straight for Xemnas's room instead. No one would ever know he's in there. Especially since he was careful not to come into contact with anyone upon his arrival. Although he's sure Xigbar will know where he is. But that obnoxious man has kept his mouth shut for the most part.

Zexion carefully sits on the end of Xemnas's bed. He's not sure why he feels so nervous. There's no reason to be. This happens so often — almost every other night even. Yet he still can't push away the nerves.

"It has been done?"

Silence seems to be Xemnas's true power at how easily he can appear and disappear without so much as a murmur. The only sound that signals his appearance is that of the dark portal opening and closing. Walking out, Xemnas strides straight over to the bed where Zexion sits.

Zexion nods, "No one should be able to tamper with the computer. I've installed several security locks that-" He sees the way Xemnas looks down at him and he knows that this answer is going on for far too long already. "Ah… I mean... Yes."

"Very good."

Xemnas pats the top of Zexion's head. Gloved fingers brush through his hair while he leans into the touch. There's something so calming about it that Zexion can't help absorbing every second of it. He'll never know just where the line is between the gentle Xemnas and the one that turns into a primal beast of desire.

Either way, he's happy with what he has. He's never paid attention to any of the looks the other apprentices shot his way or those worried brows of Lexaeus's. Xemnas has been there for him. Consoled him when his dear mentor lost his mind and left him all alone.

Xemnas is all he has left even now as he sits on the lip of the bed with his chest empty and eyes desperately pleading for Xemnas to continue. Unfortunately Xemnas likes to take his time at first.

Zexion didn't use to like how Xemnas tousles his hair or drags his fingers over his scalp. Of course when he has the gloves on it always feels different. It's when, just like now, Xemnas peels the black material from his hands that he knows where this is headed. There won't be any interruptions _this_ time he's sure.

The gloves thump to the floor as Xemnas glides his hands down the sides of Zexion's face and to his shoulders. It's there only one hand proceeds. The fingers that tug and tease at the zipper on his coat have Zexion's full attention. He can't take his eyes off them. Especially not when they finally begin to draw it down.

Swallowing hard, Zexion tries not to let the cool air bother him as it hits his skin. The little bit of pale flesh that's slowly revealed is enough to have Xemnas letting go of the zipper and grabbing at the parted halves of the coat.

Zexion knows what Xemnas is doing well before he even does it. He's already standing by the time Xemnas is lifting him up and shucking the jacket from his shoulders. Even if it isn't unzipped all of the way it's enough to allow it to slip off Zexion's body with ease and pool around his boots.

Xemnas leans forward while one palm down Zexion's chest. His lips hover beside Zexion's ear, hot breath making tingles race up and down Zexion's spine. "This will be our last night, your mission begins tomorrow." What he doesn't expect is Xemnas's tongue to flick over the side of his ear. "I need you to do something else for me while you're there."

"I hope it's not to assist Vexen. He doesn't approve of anyone muddling in his work."

Lips kiss their way down Zexion's jaw to his neck. That gentle curve is where Xemnas beings to nibble at supple skin. "You're to tell no one."

Zexion reaches up and grabs onto Xemnas' shoulders, "What is- Ah! T- That hurt."

Xemnas straightens back up after a tentative lick to the red bite marks he's left behind. They'll definitely linger for a while but that's exactly what Xemnas intends. He knows exactly what could happen by sending Zexion away. Yet there's not a single emotion in him about it.

Perhaps a flicker of something. Something so small and insignificant that he tries to ignore it. But he knows the loneliness will surely set in soon. A feeling that he makes vanish by suddenly kissing Zexion with full force.

It's a desperate attempt to redirect himself and it works to say the least. His mind is overcome with the unconscionable desire to make sure Zexion remembers this night in every way. Zexion doesn't stand a chance once he's come to this decision. He can only brace himself as Xemnas pushes him down onto the bed.

Xemnas, before doing anything else, shirks off his coat as well. Not that Zexion would ever complain. He's far too busy lying there as Xemnas practically rips Zexion's boots and then his pants off his person. It catches him off guard more than anything.

Despite showing relatively no emotion during nights like these, Xemnas still takes his time. It would span on for what seemed like forever until Zexion would awake the next morning and be unable to move properly. Yet he also knows it'll end the same way this last time.

He can feel it in the way Xemnas grabs at his thighs and hoists him further up the bed. Once Xemnas is able to climb on as well and settle between the smaller man's legs he does just that. It doesn't bother him that his own pants are getting tighter or that his boots dig into the bed as he leans forward.

All he can focus on is lowering his mouth to taste the skin out on display for him. For just this blip in time he allows himself to be enraptured with something — someone — that isn't Kingdom Hearts.

Kissing and licking his way up Zexion's stomach, Xemnas seems to treat every spot of skin along the path as though it's important. It's a special form of torture if Zexion is to be honest with himself. Having to remain still while Xemnas does as he pleases has Zexion's fingers twitching against the white sheets below him. Normally he wouldn't chance it but today feels different.

He dares to delve one hand into Xemnas's messy silver tresses once he gets closer. When Xemnas doesn't swat him away he's spurred on to continue. Both hands comb through Xemnas's hair as the man takes one of Zexion's nipples into his mouth.

Xemnas swirls his tongue around the hard nub. He savors the way Zexion's breath hitches every time his teeth graze over the sensitive spot. But he doesn't idle in one area for very long. He's moving back up to nuzzle into the crook of Zexion's neck.

Hands caressing and exploring Zexion's body, Xemnas finds he's not sure if he wants to start. There's a heat in his body that is only flaring up the longer he waits. Not to mention he feels as though he'd lose it if he took Zexion right now.

There's a foreboding feeling that settles in Zexion's stomach. That this isn't just the last time for a long while. That it's the last time. Period. Zexion's brows draw together as he lifts Xemnas' face so he can look him in the eyes. "You're behaving weird today," he says softly.

Xemnas chuckles. The hollow sound reverberates around them in this empty room devoid of any dressings. He's always amazed that Zexion is the one that speaks to him not just back at him. It has him wanting to send someone else instead…

"Perhaps I'm feeling… nostalgic."

The answer seems to suffice for the blue-haired man. He doesn't fret on it a second longer. Instead he lifts his head to press a gentle peck to Xemnas's lips. The notion is simple yet has all the implications of how they're to spend the rest of the evening together.

Zexion is nothing but gentle to Xemnas. From the way his hands cradle his face or how his thumbs brush over the skin below golden eyes. Even when he trails his fingertips down and around to dance across Xemnas's nape it can barely be felt. The feather light touch stirs something in Xemnas — the same something that it usually does.

Xemnas is hardly what Zexion would call careful in terms of how he moves beyond this. It always starts with Xemnas pressing up so roughly against him. Zexion can _feel _Xemnas's erection flush up against him through the skin tight pants. The sheer heat of it pulsing on top of his own is enough to make him lose his mind before they even start.

Slowly sitting up, Xemnas turns his attention over to the bedside table. It's only there because a room requires certain things or so it was decided. He'll admit it's handy. Especially when he crawls off the bed and strides over to it.

Of course Zexion watches it all with baited breath. From the stripping to digging forth whatever lubricant Xemnas has acquired. He'll never ask where he gets these oils or why some of them have his body throbbing more than usual. Unnecessary questions lead to Xemnas growing even more silent than usual.

"Roll over."

The instructions are never complicated. Although sometimes Zexion wishes they were. Anything to prolong these little sections of solitude they have together. Either way he does as he's told. Xemnas knows best after all. Xemnas is the one who will make sure he's safe and that everything works out according to plan.

He doesn't need to have any further orders anyway. He just simply flips over onto his knees. His elbows dig into the bed no different than his kneecaps as he waits for Xemnas. The silver haired man doesn't force the delay any further.

Sinking in around him, the bed adjusts as Xemnas kneels beside Zexion. The latter keeps his eyes on the pillow below his face. Already he can feel his arms quivering ever so slightly at the thought of what Xemnas is about to do.

The only particularly sweet thing about the next few movements are that Xemnas cups one hand against Zexion's behind. He gives a teasing squeeze and a small pat before fingers remove themselves from his body completely.

It's only a minuscule delay. One that's filled with the sound of a top being pulled off and fingers coating themselves with the contents of the small bottle. Those same slick fingers touch Zexion in the next moment and he can't help but let out a moan when they brush over the rosebud hidden between his cheeks.

The bed shifts again as Xemnas leans forward, bracing one hand against the mattress. That is while the other teases one finger slipping into Zexion. Besides, they both know that Zexion cleaned up upon his return. It's the same every time they do this. Zexion won't report back until he has done so just in case things escalate.

Xemnas applauds that he's always prepared. Always thinking three steps ahead. Although, never ahead of the twenty Xemnas seems to do. No matter what Zexion is always behind him.

Except for nights like these where they're both bathed in the light of what can hardly be called a moon surrounded by twinkling stars. It's the only time that Zexion can be in front of Xemnas in any sense.

A second finger joins in as Xemnas begins scissoring and curling them inside of Zexion. He does all he can to soften the muscles that cling to his fingers so desperately. Zexion can only hang his head as they prod deeper into his warmth — all the way up to Xemnas's knuckles.

There's no slack in any of the movements he makes. It's why sweat beads along Zexion's forehead and begins to slick his skin. Zexion pinches his eyes shut and tries to keep calm, keep his breathing even and steady. But all he can think about is the third finger that pushes in and stretches him even further.

Yet it's not far out of his comfort zone. He's used to a lot more. Zexion tries very carefully not to let the moan slip out, just as he always does, and it's quite the feat. Especially considering what will be taking the place of those fingers shortly.

Xemnas presses himself to Zexion's side. His tongue darts out and flicks over the curve of Zexion's ear, letting his warm breath brush over it. Zexion can't help but let the flush cover his face and down his neck. The heat dares to encompass him completely by the time the night is over.

"Zexion…" he murmurs to the young man quivering next to him.

Said man swallows hard while his eyes dart open. He lets out a gasp as the fingers are yanked from him with a loud and wet pop. It's so audible that Zexion can't help but feel embarrassed. Something he shouldn't acknowledge exists to begin with. Right now, however, the only thing that truly matters is that Xemnas is saddling up behind him.

Hands on Zexion's hips, Xemnas holds him steady. Fingers grip hard at the supple skin while nails leave small crescents to show where they were. All in preparation of Xemnas sparing one hand to hold himself at Zexion's entrance.

Some of the excess oil drips down Zexion's thighs as he waits. If there's anything to be thankful for it's that he isn't kept idling for very long. He can only let out the breath he's holding in when he feels the head of Xemnas's cock pushing past that first ring of muscles. Xemnas always knows it's going to be tight but he's never not surprised when Zexion's insides suction around him almost instantly.

Everything feels ten times more intense when he begins to sheath the remainder of his shaft inside of Zexion. His palms press against Zexion's ass cheeks and spread them apart ever so slightly as he finally meets flush up against him.

Zexion, already, can't handle it. There's so much filling him up that it takes him a moment to catch his breath. A moment that Xemnas doesn't give him at that. He doesn't waste a second before pulling out and thrusting back in. The heat is too much and Zexion just doesn't know what to do. The beginning alone was enough to nearly make him cum. Any more and he just might lose his mind.

The only way he can think of keeping his sanity is to dip his head down and biting hard at the pillow within his reach. This movement that would be disregarded by most is something Xemnas focuses in on. It has the corner of his mouth quirking up — if only for a second before settling back into a thin line.

Xemnas is pure raw power as he plows into Zexion over and over. There's no slacking up or giving Zexion a hint of a break. All that's left behind is the sound of sweaty skin slapping together and the slick motions of Xemnas making sure Zexion remembers him. Which is more than possible considering how Xemnas suddenly leans forward, one hand reaching out to grab a fistful of Zexion's hair.

"Don't hide."

It's not a suggestion. Nor is it a want. The words are an order that leaves no room for debate. Zexion knows better to try and fight back against what Xemnas desires. Even back then after he had begun to have doubts it wasn't allowed to set the plan in any other direction. If there were thoughts it was best not to let Xemnas know.

The pillow is left on the bed as Zexion can't help but let Xemnas tilt his head back. Drool drips down from the corner of his mouth while he grips at the sheets, clenching them in tightly closed fists. This moment is so small and fleeting that Zexion doesn't even remember it later. All he remembers is that his own manhood, bobbing between his legs, shoots out everything he's worth onto the bed below him.

Pleasure- No. Ecstasy bubbles rushes through his veins like lightning hitting a tree. He can't escape the rapture that comes over him or the way his body feels like melted snow afterward. At the same time Xemnas lets him go and focuses on grabbing his waist instead. While Zexion folds forward, his elbows against the bed and head on the pillow, he can only revel in how sensitive he is as Xemnas finishes as well.

It's as though he's being turned inside out with how roughly Xemnas pokes and prods at his insides. The same insides that stick and suck Xemnas back in every time he tries to retreat. Zexion is a silent mess of a Nobody by the time Xemnas finally stills for the briefest of seconds and unloads his cum inside of the other man.

_Hot_.

A single word is enough to describe everything that encompasses Zexion when he's finally able to flop over onto his side. His chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath. Xemnas, having already pulled out and sitting back on his haunches, gazes over Zexion's form. After a beat he moves forward to sit behind Zexion. It's not noticeable but Zexion can _feel_ it.

_Xemnas is different._

A hand comes to rest atop Zexion's head. The warmth, the sheer amount of comfort, that comes from the action has him choking past the air he had been desperately trying to suck in. There's something so strange about it all that Zexion freezes where he's at. He doesn't move and he tries his hardest not to even think or blink. He's simply left there unsure and cautious as Xemnas lies down beside him.

Breathing heavily, Zexion allows Xemnas to mold up against him. The embrace that follows has his body melting into strong arms. Xemnas places a peck to the back of Zexion's head before nestling his nose into the crown of Zexion's hair. Xemnas breathes him in and silently muses about calling Zexion back from the mission early under the guise of another taking his place.

He won't let him slip away for long. Not when his nonexistent heart demands him so. Nonetheless, he knows he'll sacrifice whatever it takes to complete his goal. That includes the young man that gingerly lets him go when Xemnas sits back up. He begins rattling off what he needs Zexion to do – the important role of seeing if he senses anything out of place. A different chamber from all the other floors.

To Zexion it's as though the facade is over. That whatever came over Xemnas is gone and he feels as though it may be the last time he gets to see it. As he lies there, staring at Xemnas' back while the latter retreats to the balcony, Zexion can't tear his eyes away or fully comprehend the words filling the silence.

The glow that settles on those bronze shoulders and the way someone else seems to overlay on top of Xemnas's figure has Zexion confused. He'll chalk it up to being tired. But it'll only be a few weeks later that he'll find out he should have never followed those golden eyes.

He'll know he should have ran and shirked away from the man he thought he could trust. Should have known better than to trust those deceitful words that wove a beautiful facade around him.

* * *

Because apparently I have this strange goal of shipping Zexion or Ienzo with everyone and I'm getting closer to seeing it be done LOL


End file.
